I Owe You...

...a blog post. duh.

Let me start out by saying that, under that huge mound of snow....is my car.

This is going to be short, sweet and to the point. I live in the mountains of West Virginia now and do you know what that means? Please refer to the first picture of this post if you are unsure.

SNOW.

and this, my friends, is no ordinary snow. We could give the North Pole a run for their money. Here is proof...

Looking toward the end of our street

The Lake is under all of that snow!

The balcony off of our bedroom out back

A house in our neighborhood

Our house

As most of you know via Facebook, I've gone back to work for HP with Chris. I am only here temporarily to help them get the job site started up. We are interviewing people next week to take my place, then I get to train them for a month...oh yay!

Getting to work in the morning is an adventure every.single.day. Thank God for 4-wheel drive!

For the rest of this, I'm going to do highlights!

-I'm pursuing photography and writing a book based on the pictures that I am able to take in this beautiful snow ridden place that we live. It's going to be a Biblical based, scriptural, photographic tour of Eastern WV.

-I'm also researching programs to go back to school for Vet Technician...YAY!

-Chris and I are joining a shuffle-board league on Thursday nights at our clubhouse. Hey, at least it isn't Bingo! ;-)

-From this league, we hope to develop relationships with people in our community and start having a weekly Bible study. We feel that this is our first step in PLANTING A CHURCH. Yep, you read that right! If you're clueless as to what's going on, read this.

-I'm tired. What else is new?

-I've picked up my bad coffee habit in full swing again. Coffee is my best friend.

-Squiggs comes to work with us everyday and likes to bark at the UPS man, Jason. He's sweet as pie, but Squiggs thinks he's a German Shepherd. It's incredibly funny!

-Chris is my "boss", but don't worry, I don't take his crap and he knows it. :-)

-We got snow shoes for Christmas and tried them two weeks ago. I don't think they are meant for 5 feet + of snow. I fell. Twice. I'm investing in the "I've fallen and I can't get up" button, just in case I go it alone.

-We are due for another 15+ inches of snow starting tonight. Oh hallelujah! MORE snow blowing. It's become our favorite past time. Not really.

-Squiggs thinks it's funny to jump in the snow so that we can only see his head...or nothing at all. I've become certified in Pug snow rescue, or at least I should be!

-Chris builds amazing fires. He's become quite the mountain man. Although, snow geese scare him.

-The deer roam around our "hood" all of the time. My parents got us a 50 lb salt lick for them and they love it. Too bad it's buried under 7 thousand feet of snow right now.

-The biggest restaurant we have is Denny's. That's 35 minutes away. :-0

-We've saved quite a lot on eating out!

-My house is a ski chalet....it's AWESOME!

-We are so VERY blessed. Even through all of this crazy weather and the early mornings and long days....we are so very blessed.

-I will post pictures of the inside of the house

And, of course, I leave you with a picture of "King Snorkie Von Squigglesworth Little Dude Flynn" for your enjoyment!

Numb

Today, I just feel numb. Last night, I was pissed (excuse my language). I’m SURE that I will be experiencing a whole range of emotions again. But today, I feel nothing. No tears, no anger. Just numb. Most of you are aware via facebook and twitter about our appointment yesterday. For those of you that may be out of the loop, read on.

We went in yesterday, and found out that I have a Blighted Ovum. It is the same thing that was diagnosed last year and caused me to have my first D&C. This would be our second miscarriage, as well as a chemical pregnancy in July of this year. All in all, I don’t know how to feel, what to do or why. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it all. Please forgive me for the scatter brained post. Most of you know that I get this way during stressful times.

On Monday, I will have my second D&C procedure. Our doctor is urging us to seek advice from an infertility specialist before we permanently relocate to WV. If we would happen to get pregnant again naturally and it turned out to be another B.O., we could be in some trouble. For every D&C your body goes through, scar tissue builds up in the uterine lining. At three, your chances of conceiving and implantation are significantly lower. My body will not expel an unviable pregnancy on its own.

At this point, I am only measuring 6weeks, 3days; yet I should be 11weeks, 3days. My body hasn’t even shown a sign of miscarriage, so I have no choice in the procedure. Well, I DO have a choice, but I run the risk of infection if I “try” to let it happen naturally. It’s been 5 weeks and nothing has happened.

Our doctor believes this is a chromosomal issue. Most of the time with the B.O., it is. Is this God’s way of protecting us and the child? I.Just.Don’t.Know. BUT, that does not mean that I don’t trust God. It means that I have to rely on Him even more now. We, have to rely on Him.

Now, on the infertility doctor issue, I have questions for those of you who have gone through it and I will get to those in another post. Today, I just need to wrap my mind around it all.

You guys are always so amazing and I appreciate and love you all dearly. I will be catching up on blogs over the next few weeks because I need to stay busy and I miss you all! Thank you SO muchyou’re your thoughts and prayers. They mean the world to us!

Thankful

I am thankful for my life. For the blessings that God, the creator of our universe has given me…in spite of ALL of my faults and screw-ups. I am screwed up. We are all screwed up because we are human. Try as we might, we can never be “good enough” on our own for God. We can never be perfect on our own.
Thinking back on my life, I can see the messes I’ve made, the hurts I’ve felt and the hurting I’ve done. Lies I’ve told, trouble I’ve gotten in to, love I could have shared and chose not to.
I am so thankful that our God is one of great mercy and grace. He is not just a God that forgives; he is also a God that forgets! How amazing is that!? If we come to Him with a truly repentant heart and ask for His forgiveness, He GLADLY bestows it upon us and then…He forgets our sin, like it never happened. He NEVER stops loving us.
I’ve been asked multiple times how I can believe in a God who just forgives if we ask Him. My answer is this: It is NOT just about asking for forgiveness. It is about having a truly repentant heart and having the understanding that ALL sin is against God. We may have hurt people along the way with our actions, but there is not another who is hurt the way God is hurt when we turn from Him and try it our own way. When our heart is truly repentant, we will turn from the thing we’ve done and better ourselves in the process. We cannot do it on our own. Jesus Christ is the central figure of our forgiveness. Reliance on Him is the only way we can truly change.
I was baptized in June. June 3rd to be exact. I was “baptized” when I was younger, twelve maybe. Did I understand what was truly happening? Absolutely not. I wasn’t sure God really loved me up until a little while ago. Just because I felt SO unworthy. Do you ever feel like that? Well, the good news is….He does. He loves YOU. In spite of your faults, screw-ups, and all of the things that make you think you are not worth a nickel.
After I was baptized, a whirl wind began in my life. In July, Chris and I found out that we were expecting again. I miscarried. Again. I thought that God was punishing me for something I had done. Boy, was I wrong. Romans 8:1 tells us “Therefore, there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…” WOW! It’s something that we may know in the back of our minds, but reading it and understanding what the scripture means is a whole different ball game!
During the month of July, I was pretty down on myself, suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. I did a lot of soul searching and realized that God was bringing things to my attention that I had never dealt with. All of these things brought about a big conclusion. I have extremely low self-esteem. A lot of things from my child hood stick with me to this day. Things “friends” did, stuff teachers said, etc.
After dealing with all of these things and realizing that no matter how I may have felt for the past 29 years about myself, one thing was for certain, I was CREATED this way, for a reason. My low self-image is basically telling God that He screwed me up when He made me. WOW! THAT is an eye opener, isn’t it?
I am Hid masterpiece, as are you. I am perfectly made for His purpose.
Would you like to know what that purpose is? So would I! Here is the awesome part about this whole journey…
After my baptism, I began working with our IT team at church to develop an iCampus (www.spoutspringschurch.com). Our church has a high military population because we are located so close to Ft. Bragg in NC. There are a great number of our members deployed and this is a way for them to virtually attend church! It also has another interesting feature. Our church is a “church planting” church. If you aren’t familiar with church planting, google it!
A few members of our congregation along with our Pastor and his family made a trip to West Virginia in late May of this year (right before I was baptized). They were looking at planting a church there because it is a state with a great need for Bible based churches that speak to the people not using “christianese” (as our Pastor calls it), but use a language that we can ALL understand. After they came back, we got an update. They found a guy who was very interested in helping launch a church in WV! Cool!
The WV church was put on the back burner over the summer in order to concentrate on getting our new website and iCampus up and running. In mid-September, we attended church as we normally do. The message series was on “God’s Will for Your Life”.
A little background info: For a number of years now, Chris has known that his calling was to go in to ministry. He is a great teacher and he is passionate about God and His word. His Mom always said that he was going to be a minister someday and his sister would be a missionary (and she is!).
We came out of that service silent. There is a grocery store right around the corner from our church and we usually stop there to grab our football food for the rest of our Sunday. We pulled in and parked. We sat there, tears streaming down Chris’ face. He knew and I knew what was happening. We talked for a long while and made a joint decision. Chris was going to enroll in seminary school on-line at the same university our Pastor had attended. He enrolled the next day.
He contacted our Pastor to share the news and Pastor Steve was so excited! They set up a time to meet and discuss how they would set up a mentoring program for Chris while he attended school part-time. He will be working toward his Masters in Religion at Liberty University. We have NO idea how we are going to pay for this. Pastor Steve said “If it’s God’s will, it’s God’s bill”. Well, needless to say, we came in to the funding needed to pay for school. Rather easily.
A few weeks after Chris began his enrollment paperwork, he was called in to his boss’s office. His boss told him that we are being relocated. There is NO rhyme or reason to why we are being relocated. We were just sent to NC in January. There are PLENTY of people who could be relocated to the job Chris is being put on from the D.C. area. It would be cheaper to move them, and just make much more sense (especially knowing the inner-workings of the company). Do you know where we are going?
WEST VIRGINIA.
Chris called me while I was in line at the bank and asked me if I trust God. I hesitated, not because I don’t, but because I knew this meant something big. I said “yes”. He then informed me of the plan for us. My first thought was holy crap. My second thought was I wonder if it’s close to where our church is looking at planting a sister church.
After I left the bank, I immediately contacted Pastor Steve via Twitter. (He’s a tech geek like me!). I asked him where exactly they were in WV on their trip and where they were looking at planting. He told me. I told him that Chris and I found out that we were being moved to WV for a job. I asked how close our possible church planting location was to Hazelton/Morgantown. His next words made my heart stop (at least it felt like it!). THAT area, my friends, is the hot zone for where they are planting a church.
Let’s review…I got baptized in June, began making some serious life transformations within myself by understanding God’s love through Jesus and exactly why I was created; Our church visits WV to check out locations for planting a church; We make the decision to send Chris to seminary (a long time in the making); and then, we find out we are going to WV….where they will be planting a church.
This is what Pastor Steve and our congregation likes to call “Air-traffic controller Jesus”. It’s not always that easy to hear His calling, but we have been blessed enough to see it plain as day. You’d have to be a fool to not see the working hands of God here. It is NOT coincidence. Especially if you understood the inner workings of Chris’ company. It makes NO sense to move him to WV. None.
And there is more. We found out more amazing news. We are expecting! We decided in August that we were not going to track anymore; we weren’t going to specifically try. We told God that we trusted Him fully to give us a child in His timing. And here we are. In His timing, which is always perfect.
I’m about 8 ½ weeks along and go to my first pre-natal appointment on Wednesday at 3.So, that’s my story and I’m stickin to it! Miss you guys!

I just have to share...

...these images from my backyard today...God's creation is SO awesome! I never get tired of these guys!

Notice on the third picture, there is little green hummingbird at my feeder!

Of course, I have to leave you with a picture of Jabba, er, I mean Squiggs.

P.P.P.S. Snake Hunter (Is that even a legit afterthought thingy?)

I was showing Chris my "muscles" during a hike through the woods on a snake hunt (more like a "RUUUUUUNNNNN!!!! ISSSAA SSSSNNNAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!).





Good Night.





P.P.P.P.S. Please don't mind my fat roll. I blame it on PW recipes.

Ahem

This is what I did on May 9th at Darlington Raceway in Darlington, SC.
May I add that I did this...with thousands of people around...and absolutely NO shame.



At least I grabbed his pec first. Give me some credit, I'm really not that kind of girl!

see?

P.S. Chris proudly took these pictures. He told me I could trade him in for Carl. Squiggs is getting a new daddy! :-) Just kidding. For now. ;-)

P.P.S. A post, with actual for real substance coming. Perhaps tomorrow even! Ang....it's all for you sister!

Q&A

*UPDATE*

I'm leaving this open until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, because I need fodder. I have things. I do, but things that aren't quite formed in to complete thoughts yet. That's what happens when you have no job....you find yourself with too much time to think, but thoughts typically are not fully formed...just passing. Boy, I'm tired for some reason today. Please excuse the rambling.

I recieved quite a few questions in the comments section of my last post, so I decided to open this new phase of my blogging life with a Q&A session.

On Friday, I will answer any questions about me, Chris, our life or anything else you may want to know (including the few from my last post)! So, ask away my friends, and I promise some answers.

Until then...

A Time for Change

I’ve been procrastinating. Not just on this post, but on posting in general.
Back and forth I’ve gone so many times, I’ve lost track. I’m indecisive. All of the time.

My last post was one month ago to date. I’ve been fighting with myself on whether to take this blog down, or not. Thoughts have been stewing for weeks. I am unemployed, so why am I lacking in the blog department? Is it as important to me as it used to be? Am I getting anything out of it? Do my “blogging girls” still know I’m around with my lack of posting and commenting?

I made my decision. The blog will stay. On one condition…I get serious about it. And that my friends, I am going to do.

Spring brings about many changes for me every year. I tend to set new goals for myself. I don’t do new years resolutions. One of my biggest is to take my blog in to uncharted territory. I’m in the midst of developing a system; something easy that I can stick to. For example, do you remember Thursday Thirteen? Well, the site no longer exists, but the idea of having a certain type of post for certain days of the week does. I may dedicate one day to a new recipe that I found and love (which will make me try at least one new recipe a week). I haven’t made any definitive decisions yet, but it’s in the works.

I’m doing research and sticking to my plan. I’m not sure when the changes will take place, but soon I hope. I tend to be incredibly impatient and want things done as quickly as possible, but I’m working on adopting this new tude that I like to call “Thout shall not procrastinate, thout shall do as ideas pop in to thout’s head and thout shall take thou’s time in doing.” How was my English? Grammatically correct? Did I use the thout’s right? ;-) Another item to add to the list.

My first step on the blog plan was to register with the BlogHer network. Check.
Next step? Continue researching blog set-ups, prices for design (or learn to do it myself PW style), and regenerate my “reads” list. There are quite a few blogs on my list that I don’t read anymore. Not really anyone’s personal pages, because I try to keep up with them, but a few other miscellaneous sites.

With all of this said and a promise almost two months ago for some pictures of our house finished (which it is definitely not yet, but close), I will leave you with a few pictures. Enjoy.

You will be hearing from me soon, so I am not saying good bye forever. ;-)



And you thought I was going to post pictures of the house. Silly peeps! I haven't even taken them yet!